


Horizontal Tuna Tango

by Rhaeluna



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Biting, Blow Jobs, Childhood Friends, Confessional Sex, F/F, F/M, Feral Behavior, Idiots in Love, Insecurity, Love Confessions, Mipha makes convoluted plots instead of talking about her feelings like an adult, Mommy Kink, Praise Kink, Pre-Breath of the Wild, Rough Sex, Scheming, Scratching, Size Difference, Trans Female Character, Trans Link (Legend of Zelda), Trans Male Character, Trans Zelda, Vaginal Sex, Voyeurism, Zora Courting, trans mipha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:47:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21574741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhaeluna/pseuds/Rhaeluna
Summary: Mipha has spent years lusting after Link and concocts a plan to seduce him. She just needs to make sure that Zelda and Urbosa are around to provide the background moaning.
Relationships: Link/Mipha (Legend of Zelda), Urbosa/Zelda (Legend of Zelda)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 97





	Horizontal Tuna Tango

**Author's Note:**

> I was feeling the Zelda feels recently and was like: what if I wrote super queer BotW smut? 
> 
> Dedicated to Mads, blessed be their Link-thirst.
> 
> Thank you kindly to [Cani](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanITellUSmThin) for the beta! She is amazing and a wonderful supporter of my weird smut!

Your name is Mipha, and everything is going according to your plan. Your genius, sexy plan. See, you have this childhood friend; a hunky, beautiful childhood friend named Link. He’s everything you want: gorgeous, heroic, a good cook. You’re kneeling in front of a wooden door in Gerudo Town with Link by your side and trying not to smirk as the cries of Zelda and Urbosa’s love making vibrate through the wall and rattle his bones. You lick your lips and watch him like he’s prey. Which is is, but like, the wholesome kind. He’s bright red and trembling like a newborn. Just as you’d hoped he’d be. A little more and he’ll snap; you look him up and down, wondering where to start when he does.

You idly wonder why you want to seduce him so badly. Maybe it’s the way he walks with confidence. Maybe it’s his silent demeanor: soft spoken even in the direst battles. Maybe it’s because, when the two of you were in your early teens, you started your gender explorations and gradual transformations at the exact same time. The bond you formed that day warms your every waking moment. Two stars falling at the same time.

You remember a warm day on the slopes of Zora’s Domain, the tall grass sighing in the cool mountain winds. The sun shone like a marble containing all life within its glass. 

“I think I’m a boy,” Link told you, his voice barely above a whisper. “Or something like that.”

You smiled your Zora princess smile and pulled the boy into a warm embrace. “How delightful,” you told him, “because I think I’m a girl. We can trade.” Then you both began to cry and curled in on each other like nesting finches.

You approached Zelda together, hand-in-hand, and asked if the Princess would mind sharing the secrets that she used for her own journey. Her face lit up brighter than you’d ever seen. She snuck you into her father’s laboratory without a second thought. She was an expert at mixing the necessary herbs and chemicals by that point in her transition and when she was done she handed you and Link your futures. 

As you hiked out of Castle Town together Link let out a cry of victory and pulled you into his arms. Before you knew it he was princess-carrying you through a field of wheat glittering in the autumnal sun. You’d never seen him smile so wide.

That might have been the moment, you think. The moment you realized you loved him. It was a flighty, light thing and it settled over your heart, and despite your best attempts at self delusion you could not shake it free.

A decade and change had passed since that day in the rolling hills of Hyrule Field, and so many stories had come and gone. When you joined Zelda’s Champions, you did it together. When you defended Hateno Village against an army of Yiga for three days and three nights without backup or stable supply lines, you did it together. When Urbosa threatened war against Daruk for his slights, you calmed and befriended them together. Link was always there at your side, sword in hand, his gangly youth giving way to lithe power. The way he looked at you made you hot in the face. When your sexuality blossomed, it blossomed because of him. 

At first you thought it was one sided, but gradually your conviction wavered. You’d catch him looking at you fondly, or find small bundles of wildflowers on your doorstep on the days he journeyed through your Domain. Always coming and going. It would take more fingers than you had to count the number of almost-kisses that passed between you. In the woods, on horseback, during a royal parade. When you took control of Vah Ruta the sheer electricity of wielding such ancient, awful power nearly overcame your better judgement. You shoved him against a wall and held him there, all your regal poise and confidence lost in the terror of what you were about to do.

He stilled like a statue. His cheeks pinked. You wanted so badly to close the distance. A little closer, a little warmer. Pull his mouth onto yours. 

But he laughed, patted your head, and strode out of the Divine Beast to attend the moot of Champions reveling in celebration below. 

You didn’t sleep that night. Your muscles coiled with tension. No amount of masturbation would chase the agony and ferocity away.

Over the next few weeks your plan came together. Inklings of inspiration, notes jotted while half-asleep. You just had to get him flustered enough, needy enough. That’s all it would take. You couldn’t dare admit your feelings to him and discuss the issue like the rational adults you were pretending to be, no. That wouldn’t do. It wouldn’t be becoming of the Zora royal heir.

Instead you plotted. You knew Zelda and Urbosa’s relationship had become sexual and heard the rumors of their intense, vocal escapades from Revali and guards hailing from several royal courts. They didn’t try to hide whatsoever. “It would not be the Gerudo way,” Urbosa told you the first time you stayed the night in Gerudo Town. The frequent erotic moans echoing around the settlement warmed your thighs and core.

So you smiled and laughed softly with your friends as you always do--all the while arranging your next visit to the Gerudo to overlap with Link’s and, more importantly, Zelda and Urbosa’s. You’d been before and knew how limited the rooms were--they’d make you and Link share. They had to. It would honor the Chief to have such renowned guests staying in her personal chambers, chambers that you knew for a fact contained a guest room (you didn’t think too hard about why). You and Link were close, everyone knew it. They might even suspect you were intimate already and would arrange things to facilitate your coupling. All part of the plan. 

The day came and you could barely contain your nerves. The trek through the desert was brutal; dry heat held no kindness for your people. Zelda lectured Link in the proper use of silent princess flowers for medicine while you trailed behind, idling and giddy. Urbosa met you at the town gate with one of her signature bear hugs.

The feast started. You supped on grilled Molduga steaks sprinkled with cinnamon and a sweet stew of potatoes and herbs. It was delicious and for a time you hardly thought of your devious plot. Link grinned at you from across the table as he ate. Zelda lounged in Urbosa’s lap in the Chief’s seat.

After a hearty dinner, enough heavy mead to kill a Lynel, and some of the best improvised songs you’d ever heard, it was time for bed. Night fell on Gerudo Town and the laughter filling the halls quieted. You and Link retired to your assigned quarters, a shared guest room directly off from Urbosa’s bedroom. The songs of moaning grew louder across the town, distant and mirthful. Pink sky turned to black. Lantern light from the streets below spilled into your room. You slipped into bed before Link, unable to look him in the eye as he plopped down fully clothed. Your thighs rubbed together of their own accord, warm and tense, and you wondered how long it would take for Zelda and Urbosa to start making noise in the joined room.

It didn’t take five minutes.

Zelda shrieked, her voice dripping with pleasure. Link lurched up in bed like he’d been shot. His eyes were wide. You turned over under your blankets to face him and smiled to yourself. His gaze followed yours to the wooden door separating your rooms. Given the sheer volume of your dear friends’ affections it might as well have not been there at all. The board was set.

In an uncharacteristic burst of speed you leapt from your bed and scooted up to the door. Another cry, a lullaby of carnality. You felt rather than heard Link kneel next to you. You glanced back and see his skin afire with red, thumping blood. Perfect. Your eyes met. Lingered. Wet, hard sounds called out from the chamber beyond. Heavy breathing and the stench of sweat mixed like molten gold.

You hold Link’s gaze. Watch his neck muscles undulate as he swallows air.

“What an evening,” you whisper to him. “They’re quite active, aren’t they?”

Link nods, a hand grasping the floor, the door, his thigh, unable to still. He raises an eyebrow at you, inquisitive, and gestures towards the door. His slight frown tells you how much he approves of your eavesdropping. 

“I was curious, can you blame me? They sound so lovely in there, like music of the deep sea.”

His frown deepens. You resist the urge to smirk, to giggle, and push the door open a few inches. Link freezes. You’d been expecting that. Hoping that he’ll follow your lead, you glance through the slit into the dim room.

Your breath catches. Oh, they’re beautiful. Your heart sings an ancient love melody at the mere sight. Sheets and pillows are strewn about the room; tapestries hang loose, knocked free by freefalling hands and feet. Zelda, all five-foot-six of her, thrusts herself between Urbosa’s legs, cradled in arms so cut they might as well be made of stone. Their size difference is staggering: Zelda would look like a child next to the Gerudo Chief were Urbosa herself not nearing nine feet tall. You can’t imagine what the Gerudo drink to achieve such size. You yourself barely come up to the bottom of the Chief’s thigh (a thought that drives heat into your core).

It’s rapturous. Mortal. For a moment inspiration takes hold of your feelings and you want nothing more than to burst into the hazy room and fall into their royal tangle of sex. You shake your head. That isn’t part of the plan, though. Perhaps another day, should you ever overcome your inability to speak of such things to your friends. You adjust your position beside the door so Link can join you in your perversion.

He raises an eyebrow at you. You smile and beckon him forward. His honorable act lasts but a few seconds. You feel the heat of him as he slides up next to you to peep.

Urbosa lounges against a tower of pillows, Zelda tight against her breasts. Her abdominals flex with each of the Princess’ thrusts. Wet and hard. Desperate. Zelda’s legs shake underneath herself. The smell reminds you of the wilderness. 

“You’re a good little girl, aren’t you, baby?” Urbosa says. Link flinches next to you. Your breath catches. Oh, you had no idea. You’re bright red, you know it, but you have to look more confident than you feel. The last thing you want to do is back away in bashfulness. 

“Yes, mommy. Thank you mommy.” Zelda’s voice is shallow and ragged. She pushes Urbosa up against the stone chamber wall, her slick length burying to the hilt inside her lover.

“Oh, my darling. Zelda, you’re trying so hard. You’re doing so good.” Urbosa’s fingernails drag down Zelda’s shivering back and dig into her fleshy rear cheeks. The Princess squeaks. “Come on now, show me what you can do; you’re almost there. I want you to come for me, your highness.” 

“Yes, of course, of course.” Your insides twist with pleasure as you watch Zelda pump once, twice, hard, and begin to convulse in Urbosa’s arms. Your skin feels electric. The Chief wraps herself around the Princess as she comes inside her, powerful hands holding the girl’s pelvis flush against herself. Zelda shudders and lets out an adorable, high-pitched whine. She’s trembling, writhing, and finally goes slack over Urbosa’s stomach.

“There’s my beautiful Princess,” Urbosa says. She kisses Zelda, dragging the smaller woman’s lips between her teeth. “You’re magnificent.” You can’t quite see Zelda’s face, but from the sounds she’s making you think she might be crying. Urbosa hugs her. 

God, you’re so fucking aroused. What a performance. Your sex is threatening to break free from its sheath of soft flesh and it’s taking everything you have not to stroke yourself as you watch Zelda pepper Urbosa’s neck and chin with kisses. You glance at Link, who’s barely breathing. His hands are like steel vices on the doorframe. You swear you can see his heart in his throat.

You close the door, and the leaking amorous light dissipates. You close your eyes and sit back, forcing a few deep breaths into your lungs. Goodness it’s hot. You’ve never been so riled up. Everything burns inside you.

Link isn’t looking at you. His back rises and falls, hot air spewing from his mouth like a dragon. His fists clench at his sides and your heartbeat runs wild. Your sex aches with a desire for freedom from its sheath. You’re so wet you’re sure that he could see you dripping if he just turned around. Your legs threatened to buckle under the weight of the tension. 

You want him. You love him. You could just admit your feelings. Your lust. But you can’t, not after so long. Not until the ocean barrier standing strong between your hearts is well and truly shattered. For at the end of the day, you think, you are but a scared girl who fears the icy rejection of her best friend. It’s pathetic, really.

You expel a deep breath. What on earth are you doing? The polite thing to do would be to apologize to Link and return to bed. Pretend you didn’t see anything. Maybe you should. Put the whole thing behind you, even if you feel like you’re about to explode.

“U-um, Link?” 

His head whips around. He stares into your eyes like a wolf god peering into your soul from up high. Primal, raw. A shiver runs down your back. His eyebrows warp with conflict, his expression flickering between pleading, arousal, and regret. It's clear that you’re feelings are similar. You want to speak but there’s no words. What could words even do? Instead you raise a shaking hand to gesture him forward again. You can’t help yourself. He bares his teeth, all fangs, and crawls across the floor to your side like a dog. Yes, yes, here he comes. You’re almost there. You can see his want as clearly as your own hands. 

He stops inches from your face. Why does he stop? You pout at him. Your bodies are closer than they’ve been in months. His chest shudders and you want to touch it. Touch him. His eyes dart between your face, your legs, your breasts. He’s choking on air. He gets closer, nearly straddling you on the floor. You think he’s going to sit in your lap when he shakes his head and closes his eyes.

“I-I’m sorry,” he says in a husky whisper.

“Don’t be.” Your words are more forceful than you mean them to be. He looks surprised. “Please don’t be sorry for this.” The truth is running from your lips like it’s fleeing for its life. “I want this.” Your fear is a distant memory, overwhelmed by your need. Just as you’d planned.

Link’s mouth opens but he doesn’t speak. “You do?”

You bite your lip. “Yes.”

“May I touch you?” 

“Yes. Please.” 

And he’s on you. The ocean wall shatters and your waters flood into each other. His fingers dig into the tender flesh of your back and you’re in the air, your weight nothing to him. He walks two paces and drops you onto your bed, the mattress bouncing underneath your weight. His mouth finds yours and you’re kissing him, salty and sweet, fuck everything you’re kissing him. His lips are rough and clumsy, his hair tangled and messy. You tug on it hard. He growls.

You’re not sure you can pull him closer, but you have to. Somehow. His legs twist with yours, his weight a reassuring pressure on your sternum. Your length slips from its cocoon and chafes against his shirt. He nips your lower lip and grunts. Your head feels foggy.

The weight disappears and he’s straddling your hips, his shirt lifting over his torso, his shoulders. Scars criss cross his skin in lethal patterns, overlapping the ones under his pecs where his breasts used to be. Your fingers trace the rough flesh and your lips part as you drink him in. He’s wearing that wolfish grin you love, the mischievous one he sometimes wears when he knows he’s got you. If Zelda and Urbosa are still fucking in the room next door you can’t hear them. Your mind focuses on a single point. 

You’re naked all the time. Clothing doesn’t really make sense for Zoras--its extra weight and your skin is tough enough when you need it to be. Your genitals hide themselves when they’re not needed. It’s something you don’t often think about, the way Hylians need it, and that’s why watching Link step off the bed and shimmy out of his pants elicits a guttural moan from your throat. You want him back, want something to hold onto. You’re shaking, trembling--you don’t think you could rise from the bed even if you want to. 

Link returns and you nearly cry when you feel his warmth again. He slinks between your thighs head first, his eyes narrow and wicked. You’re trying not to grin but you can’t. You’re just too happy. You’re agonizingly aroused and you love him so, so much. He slows but you encourage him along. 

He takes your girth into his mouth and you seeth. His head bobs around you, beautiful and thorough. He grips your thighs, your root. He’s warm, gentle. You squeal as his tongue circles your base and trails all the way up your length to the tip. His gaze finds yours and you realize just how high on your endorphins you must be because you think you might actually be crying. You love him so much. You can only hope he returns your affections. 

You don’t have time to spiral into self doubt. He takes you into his throat and you can’t help but wonder where he learned such a thing. Your back rises off the bed in a tense arch. When he pulls away you whimper, needy. A trail of saliva connects his mouth to your sex, a memento to your hard-won endeavors.

Then he’s straddling you again, his thighs covering yours and his wet center inches from your sex. His hands are firm on your chest and he’s kneading your breasts. Pinching. Teasing. His weight feels like home. He positions you at his opening and pauses. Your eyes meet. The night crackles. 

You nod.

And you’re in him, wrapped in him, and he snarls in delight. His hands grip tight around your breasts. You hold his hands where they are. You’re squirming, elated and divine. You grab his hips, his ass, your mouth open wide. You share a heat utterly new. Connection.

He raises himself with a groan and crashes down onto your hips. You surely bruise. His abdominals drip with sweat and you want to lick it off but your head won’t reach. He rides you hard into the bed and you’re undone. You let him drag you into the fire. He bends forward and wraps his arms around your neck, his grunts echoing into your ear as he pleasures himself upon you. His teeth find your throat and he bites. You cry out, unaware of your volume. You’re going to savor the marks, cherish them like you would an honored heirloom.

You want to talk, to confess, but your words die in your throat. Pleasure fills your every opening. You’re afraid Link might break the bed frame with how hard he’s pumping but whatever, Urbosa has more beds. You claw at his broad back. Leave cuts. You can heal them for him later.

You feel your climax coming. A dream welling to fruition. Pressure wells in your abdomen and you squirm underneath him. “L-Link, I’m--ah, Link, hey--” 

The words tangle. You’re afraid you might bite your lip. But he shifts and looks at you, and you know that he understands. He bares his teeth in joy, feral and wild, a wolf of the wilderness, the trees, the oceans. The knight of the morning dew.

“I-Is it okay, is it--”

He’s nodding, cooing to you. 

Link reaches between his legs and strokes himself as he maintains his rhythm. You watch in awe, his fingers powerful and gentle upon his apex. A show just for you. Shudders.

You burst. Pressure and heat flood your veins and you’re singing, your soul afire with love. He follows you over the edge and wraps both his powerful arms around your shoulders, holding you tight. A hug years in the making. You gasp for air together in the dark of the Gerudo Desert, your bodies fused by sweat and lips. 

Your barriers are down. Good. “I-I’ve been in love with you since we were ten,” you say against his mouth. “I hope you d-don’t hate me for this.”

He laughs, full and throaty, and nips your lower lip. You blink. “I’ve been in love with you since we were 15,” he says in a whisper. 

Oh. “Well.” You cup his ass in your hands. “I suppose we’re both bad at this, then.” You can’t stop smiling, and neither can he.

“I wanted to tell you years ago. I’m sorry.”

You brush a strand of sweaty hair from his face. “Don’t be, darling.” You giggle. “I was scared you’d think I only wanted you for sex.”

Link frowns. “I wouldn’t sleep with you if I didn’t love you.” He looks almost confused.

Your knight. Naive and noble. “Of course you wouldn’t.” You kiss him again. 

Someone claps from across the room. You startle and cling to Link’s chest. Your teeth clench in panic. An enemy?

No. Worse. Zelda and Urbosa sit naked in the open doorway connecting your chambers. The Chief smiles at you as she claps like she’s attending a sporting event. Zelda giggles and hides her smile behind her hand.

“About time,” she says. You yelp and bury your face in Link’s armpit.


End file.
